What I was thinking when I was in the pool

After going through all the incidents related to my relations to Daisy, I wanted to refresh myself. I relax in my solitude on the pool, for my one dream of being with Daisy has been broken by Tom Buchanan. I am living not only in my past but in my dream. I know that my conscious is refusing to face my reality. My dream world makes it easier than facing my cruel reality because Daisy cannot be mine. This reality is too hard for me to bear. Since she came into my life, I’m no longer had a life of my own. I changed my whole life for her. I had become this man that I was no longer recognized. Throwing parties with people that I didn't know and making myself out to be an important man. I believed that by obtaining this wealthy man status, she would be more approving of me because that was the only thing standing in the way then. 

If I could just start all over again and wake up from this reality that would really be my dream come true. I wanted her so bad that I became this person for her. I wanted to recover that love that we once shared. My only desire is to have Daisy love me once more. I just threw away my whole life.

What I was feeling when I met Daisy again

When Daisy and I met for the first time in years, I was extremely nervous. During the set up Daisy also becomes nervous out of the shock seeing me; her long lost lover. Mostly it is a lot of awkward silences and stiffness between us while we were at Nick’s house. By the time when we moved over to my place, the stiffness has decreased and we began to talk more and got along. The reason that I was so nervous when I was waiting for Daisy was because I had dreamed of the moment for so long and I wanted everything to turn out perfectly as planned. I also did not want to disappoint her in any way since I wanted to win her over again. As I have planned everything ahead of time and tried to figure out every move, I was stunned by the presence of something that I was trying to get hold of for many years since my departure to the war. In a sense the nervousness between us was caused by the sudden realization that we finally met. I realized that Daisy would be here to judge my every move, whether I was fit to her liking.

Why I fell in love with Daisy

Back at the time as a young officer, I was impressed by what Daisy represented, old money and a life full of luxuries. Her lavish house is full of beautiful things that I would consider that are to be. I was not fortunate enough to have such luxury in my life, while Daisy had all those things that anyone would value at that time. Many men loved her and wanted to marry her which increased the value of her. She had an indiscreet voice. It was full of money. I was infatuated with it. I fell deeply in love with the young Daisy, and vowed to come back to her a wealthy man. While I went off to the war Daisy continued in her artificial life. The distance between Daisy and I made my heart grow fonder. Daisy represents a god like being that seizes me to move away from her from my soul. Her noble like beauty and her pure innocence lights my path and inspire to be successful to be equal to what Daisy want.

Why I gave Nick a formal invitation to my party

There is a clear combination of the people that came to my party, high society people with lots of money, people with much less money and new rich people. My party is the result of an intense preparation made by my servants. There is a huge amount of the finest food around, tons of alcohol served. All people hide themselves under bright colorful dresses; identity is not an important factor at my mansion. Here is the perfect place for people to show all their finest suites, it is the place where lights and colors gleam until daylight.

People arrive to my party without my invitation, which I didn't care. I don’t have to send invitations all over the place to bring in people. Whatsoever, I gave Nick a formal invitation to my party. He’s the person that I know that I can trust for bringing Daisy to my party. To get along with Daisy, I thought this was the only way for me to see her again. I believed that she would come back to me for love. If he successfully accompanies Daisy to my mansion, I can expose her to my lavish party and put her into the situation where she can fall in love with me. I know for a fact that Daisy loves the Amenities: expensive clothes and other luxuries. Anyhow, my investment in attracting Daisy will depend upon my connections and one of those connections will be Nick.  

What I was feeling when Daisy killed Myrtle with the Car

On the way home from New York I made a mistake of allowing Daisy to drive my car. When we were passing the car shop Myrtle runs out to try and stop us and gets hit by the car and dies instantly. Daisy, in panic, speeds up and drives away before anyone see us.


I am sure Wilson got pretty mad and depressed; after all it was his wife who had just gotten killed. His initial reaction would have made him shocked since he would not have believed it. After his shock pass over he will be enraged at the fact that someone killed his wife. I know for sure that Wilson will be shaken up at the thought of the accident, that he practically will lose his mind and wants to get revenge. Tom's first reaction must have been similar to Wilsons, but then I know he just wants to save himself, as he thinks that Wilson might try to kill him since he was driving my car earlier. He would blame the whole thing on me, even though it was Daisy who did it. At this situation, I could not care less about Myrtle, and wanted to make sure that Tom wasn't going to do anything to Daisy.

What I was thinking when I saw the Green Light

I believed in the future of potential and promise. I always dreamed of being with Daisy, and I will someday reach toward a future where that might be a reality. I guess it’s somewhat of an “American” idea for me to always be striving for something just beyond, to be pushing for the new, to stretch my arms out further. I climbed out from humble beginnings and pushed forward to create my own fortune in life, where I saw a future and dream that I wanted and worked to achieve it.



But it's funny how we humans are also nostalgic. And so there is this push-and-pull within myself, as a wealthy businessman; as a man with an impoverished background stretching behind me like a shadow, clinging to my heels. I am a dreamer and a romantic, who longs for an idealized version of Daisy and believe in a pure and true sort of love.



I will reach for a future that I long for and that I dream of. I will work to try to obtain it, strives for it. And yet, the memories of my past push against me relentlessly.