What I was thinking when I was in the pool

After going through all the incidents related to my relations to Daisy, I wanted to refresh myself. I relax in my solitude on the pool, for my one dream of being with Daisy has been broken by Tom Buchanan. I am living not only in my past but in my dream. I know that my conscious is refusing to face my reality. My dream world makes it easier than facing my cruel reality because Daisy cannot be mine. This reality is too hard for me to bear. Since she came into my life, I’m no longer had a life of my own. I changed my whole life for her. I had become this man that I was no longer recognized. Throwing parties with people that I didn't know and making myself out to be an important man. I believed that by obtaining this wealthy man status, she would be more approving of me because that was the only thing standing in the way then. 

If I could just start all over again and wake up from this reality that would really be my dream come true. I wanted her so bad that I became this person for her. I wanted to recover that love that we once shared. My only desire is to have Daisy love me once more. I just threw away my whole life.

What I was feeling when I met Daisy again

When Daisy and I met for the first time in years, I was extremely nervous. During the set up Daisy also becomes nervous out of the shock seeing me; her long lost lover. Mostly it is a lot of awkward silences and stiffness between us while we were at Nick’s house. By the time when we moved over to my place, the stiffness has decreased and we began to talk more and got along. The reason that I was so nervous when I was waiting for Daisy was because I had dreamed of the moment for so long and I wanted everything to turn out perfectly as planned. I also did not want to disappoint her in any way since I wanted to win her over again. As I have planned everything ahead of time and tried to figure out every move, I was stunned by the presence of something that I was trying to get hold of for many years since my departure to the war. In a sense the nervousness between us was caused by the sudden realization that we finally met. I realized that Daisy would be here to judge my every move, whether I was fit to her liking.

Why I fell in love with Daisy

Back at the time as a young officer, I was impressed by what Daisy represented, old money and a life full of luxuries. Her lavish house is full of beautiful things that I would consider that are to be. I was not fortunate enough to have such luxury in my life, while Daisy had all those things that anyone would value at that time. Many men loved her and wanted to marry her which increased the value of her. She had an indiscreet voice. It was full of money. I was infatuated with it. I fell deeply in love with the young Daisy, and vowed to come back to her a wealthy man. While I went off to the war Daisy continued in her artificial life. The distance between Daisy and I made my heart grow fonder. Daisy represents a god like being that seizes me to move away from her from my soul. Her noble like beauty and her pure innocence lights my path and inspire to be successful to be equal to what Daisy want.